i may be a bird in a cage but at least it's your cage

Back to Part 1.

( Don't Drink, Don't Smoke (What Do You Do) [Part 2] )

I owe a debt of gratitude to laurashapiro and pipsqueaky for their amazing due South vid to "Goody Two Shoes", which cemented my association between Benton Fraser and that song long before I ever saw Hot Fuzz; if you're here for the Hot Fuzz and are unfamiliar with due South and its tireless Mountie hero Benton Fraser, I totally recommend watching their vid before reading the story. It's available for download here, and if you enjoy it, please let them know.

Title: Don't Drink, Don't Smoke (What Do You Do)
Fandom: due South/Hot Fuzz
Pairings: Ensemble gen, but, you know, gay like the show and the movie.
Spoilers: Through "Call of the Wild"/the film
Rating: PG-13 for language
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters; I'm just fooling around.
Summary: In which shenanigans are had, passports are stolen, hair is dyed, pints are drunk, and Ray is bitten by the swan. 12,600 words.

( For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, Ray and I were pursuing a criminal across Gloucestershire on our annual leave from the Chicago Police Department and the Canadian Consulate in Chicago, respectively.  )