i may be a bird in a cage but at least it's your cage

i still owe three of you top five lists, but lnboz knows exactly how to get me:

5 cataloging and/or classification problems the sgc librarian has had to deal with:

1. it's awfully hard to determine static birth and death dates for daniel jackson; finally the librarian just decided on three different author & subject authority headings, one before he ascended, one for while he was ascended, and one for after he was descended.

2. sometimes the animal-vegetable-mineral subject test doesn't work. at all.

3. creating a controlled vocabulary that covers 71 different languages and 143 dialects isn't something they teach you in library school. (but it should be.)

4. once a gou'ald computer virus reorganized all the digital files according to a classification scheme that no one could figure out, and it took the entire library staff 17 days to put them back in the library of congress-derived scheme they'd been using before.

5a. MARC records don't account for pictoral languages. neither do standard keyboards, for that matter.
5b. where the hell does the apostrophe actually go in goa'uld?

i suspect this will only be truly funny to librarians - and maybe only to catalogers - who know stargate canon, but i laughed myself stupid making this list, and maybe you will, too.

i've had an allergy headache all day; i'm stupidly stoned off meds and i just want to lie on the floor and laugh. tell me jokes.